Here’s something I want you to hear before your maternity session: your toddler does not have to cooperate. Your tween does not have to smile on cue. Your teenager does not have to be thrilled about it. And honestly? Some of the most beautiful sibling moments I’ve ever photographed happened because a kid was doing exactly what they wanted to do instead of what anyone asked. Including siblings in your maternity session is less about getting everyone to perform and more about creating space for your family to just exist together – one last time before everything changes.
The Pressure to “Get a Good Photo” Is the Problem
Most families show up to a maternity session with siblings and immediately start managing. Corralling. Negotiating. Promising snacks or screen time if everyone just cooperates for ten more minutes.
I get it. You want beautiful photos. You love your kids. You also know your kids, and you know exactly how this could go sideways.
But here’s what I’ve learned from working with a lot of real families: the pressure to perform is usually what derails the session, not the kids themselves.
When a toddler senses that something is expected of them, they dig in. When a tween feels watched, they shut down. When a teenager feels like they’re being managed, they check out entirely.
The families who walk away with the images they love most are the ones who showed up ready to let things unfold.
When Your Toddler Is Not Into It (Good)
I know this sounds counterintuitive, but I actually love when a toddler is totally not into the session.
With toddlers, the approach is simple: they’re in charge. When I have a little one who has zero interest in being part of the photos, I stop asking them to be part of the photos. We shift into playing and interacting mode instead. I get down on their level. I talk to them. I let them lead.
Every single time, the photos turn out better than they would have if we’d spent that energy trying to get them to look at the camera and smile.
The goal with a toddler is connection, not compliance. When they feel safe and relaxed around me, the real moments start happening on their own – a head leaning against your bump, a little hand reaching up, a moment of pure curiosity that I’m right there to catch.
You don’t have to do anything except play with your kid and let me work around you.
What Actually Works with Older Kids and Teens
Tweens and teenagers are a different story, but the underlying approach is the same: earn their trust before you ask anything of them.
When I’m working with an older kid who clearly does not want to be there, I don’t push. I make conversation. I ask them something genuine. I ask them to tell me a joke. I treat them like a person instead of a prop, and usually, they start to relax.
And sometimes, the most effective thing I can do is ignore them entirely for a few minutes.
There is nothing that gets a kid’s attention faster than being told they don’t have to be in the photos right now. Suddenly they’re curious. Suddenly they’re wandering over. Suddenly they’re involved, on their own terms – which is exactly where I want them.
A few things that genuinely help with older kids:
- Let them in on it. Explain that this is about documenting a moment in your family’s story, not just getting a pretty picture. Older kids respond to that when it’s said without pressure.
- Give them a role. Ask them to help you pick a spot, or let them suggest something. Ownership shifts the energy.
- Don’t narrate their feelings. Saying “I know you don’t want to be here” out loud puts them in a corner. Just keep things light and moving.
The One Thing That Changes Everything
Kids feed off your energy. This is the single most important thing I want every family to understand before we work together.
If you arrive stressed, your kids will feel it. If you make threats in the parking lot before we start, there’s a good chance your toddler will completely shut down once we’re in front of the camera. If you get frustrated mid-session and it shows, the whole tone shifts.
These are just photos. They matter – deeply – but they’re not worth a hard afternoon with your family.
What I always tell the moms I work with: don’t threaten your kids before or during the session. It can backfire fast, and once a little one shuts down emotionally, it’s very hard to bring them back.
Go with the flow. Follow their lead. And when something doesn’t go the way you pictured, let it go.
Because years from now, you’re going to look at these photos and you want to remember how little they were before you turned their whole world upside down with a new sibling. You do not want to look back and remember how frustrated you were trying to get them to smile.
The real moments – the ones that catch you off guard, the ones that weren’t planned – those are the ones you’ll keep forever.
This Season Deserves to Be Documented – All of It
Including your kids in your maternity session is one of the most meaningful things you can do for your family’s story. It marks a moment that only happens once – the last chapter before your family grows.
It doesn’t have to be perfectly coordinated. It doesn’t have to go according to plan. It just has to be real.
That’s what I’m here to capture.
If you’re expecting and thinking about a maternity session that includes your whole family, I’d love to talk through what that could look like for you. Every family is different, and every session is built around yours.
You show up. I handle the rest.
